What It Takes...

It took me: seven months 72 sleepless nights moving away Trying to love someone else 74,730 words in an unread manuscript 301 replays of the same playlist 2 bottles of Essie Soul Mate nail polish 7 dozen Tim Horton’s vanilla dipped donuts Mentally disabling myself Being tied in knots Hating you Mourning you Emotionally shutting myself down Punishing my soul Being consumed by fear Burning Madame Bovary Just so that I could figure out, that happiness is not caring if I will ever see you again. Finally after all this time I can let go...

I thought for the longest time that there wouldn't ever come a point where I could just walk away and seriously not care anymore but it has. It's interesting to think that when we love something so hard it will never lose its meaning, it didn't have to. The time spent and memories made will never lose its importance but I think I made you out to be something you weren't....good for me. Thank you for making me work so hard, and hurting me so very deeply because without that I wouldn't have the motivation to never put myself in that position again, and to never lose myself in someone else’s opinion of me.

#poetry #freewrite #amwriting #MadameBovary #Essie #TimHortons